The Forever Bridesmaid

 I have had the pleasure of being apart of 7 weddings in my twenties so far. I have served as a maid of honor, a bridesmaid and hostess. I have even tested out my wedding coordinator skills for a close friend. It is always exciting to be asked to be apart of arguably the most memorable day of your loved ones lives. Truthfully, I didn’t always really understand what I was signing up for. To me it seemed  being a bridesmaid  was fun but also expensive. I have to buy a dress, travel, buy you all the presents, tell you how beautiful you are, keep you calm while you are yelling at your mom and remind you that you said “yes” for a reason and then we feast and dance. Boom.  I thought I knew what I was doing. I thought I was being “helpful”. So much so that I even wrote a blog years ago about how to be a good bridesmaid. But I realize now that I had it all wrong.


I have learned in recent years is that my commitment to that couple was more than buying a dress and agreeing to smile through the ceremony and monitoring that one cousin who is moving a little too quickly to the open bar. It is more than agreeing to this nail color and wearing pearls and having my hair be stuck in the same style for weeks because of all the hair sprayed used.


Being a bridesmaid is more than just that one day or one season commitment.


It is a lifetime commitment. It means you pick up when they call after their first big married fight..and again for the next one. It means never bashing their husband no matter how mad you are at them. It means keeping your heart sober and never letting judgment creep in and taint your listening ear. It means gently and sometimes quickly telling your bride how wrong she is even if she doesn’t want to hear it. It means pushing them to pray for and with their husbands. It sometimes means being silent and just letting them be. It means being there for the pregnancies and the miscarriages. It means celebrating the new house and the new car(the one she probably didn’t really want). It means always reminding your bride that though she is now one with someone else- you are there; but now for THEM, not just her.


I understand now that when I stood up in literal agreement of their marriage that I was also agreeing to honor, love and support their marriage forever. But most importantly- pray for their marriage.


My role as a bridesmaid now means hitting my knees every day for those marriages. It means asking the Lord to teach them submission and leadership; repentance and forgiveness; mercy and grace. It means praying for their wombs, sex lives, finances, and jobs. It means that whenever they turn to me for help I make sure I turn them right back to Jesus. It means praying with them not just for them.
Our prayers matter. They have power. One thing I know for certain is that marriage is hard. Our friends need us to be interceding for them. They shouldn’t have to do this alone.
What would marriages look like if we didn’t stop loving on them once the sparkler send off was over? What if we didn’t leave them to fend for themselves after the honeymoon? The time we spend serving our loved ones in their weddings should be just the start of a our commitment to them.  Lets be forever maid of honors, bridesmaids, and hostesses…


lets not let our friends do marriage alone. 


So to Jessica, Ashlee, Amanda, Kathryn, Veronica, Brandi and Bianca- Thank you for inviting me into your love story. I commit to praying with you and for your marriages. I commit to listening with an open mind and always pointing you back to Jesus. I commit laying down my own opinions and let the word of God lead me in my advice and counsel to you. I commit to speaking life into your marriage at all times. I commit to you and your marriage always…even as the seasons change and even more so when they stay the same.
with love,


Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times & a brother is born for adversity.


Ecclesiastes 4:10 If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.

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