Last week I had the best day ever. So many answered prayers were flowing in. God was just showing off and I was overwhelmed! It was AWESOME.
During this great day, I had a mid-afternoon meeting at my church. I decided to go in a little early and go into our prayer hall. Its a cozy hall with candles, pillows and chairs, The perfect place for quiet time with the Lord. A large wooden cross sits at the back of the hall covered in prayer requests and other notes. I was eager to get in there and just have a moment in the middle of the day to pause and THANK Him for being just so good to me. #blessed
When I walked in, the wooden cross in the back of the room stood out more than normal. Something about it on this particular day was drawing me in. I walked towards it and took off my shoes and grabbed a pillow. As I settled myself preparing to pray, I found a set of instructions to the right of the cross. It read something like “A prayer of confession: write your sins down and nail it to the cross”. Next to the instructions was a jar of nails and one hammer. I had never done this before but now seemed as good a time as any.
So I found my self scribbling things down:
…and those were just the ones I could just think of in the moment. I wrote them down and folded up my little piece of paper. I grabbed the nail and the hammer and faced the cross. I found an empty spot and placed my paper against the wood and put the nail on top of it. I hit the hammer on the back of the nail and felt it pierce the wood.
And then break my heart.
The weight of this moment brought me to my knees.
I did this.
I put Him on that cross. It was my sin that hung Him up there. My disobedience, my pride, my sloth, my doubt that pierced his hands and whipped his back and shoved the crown of thorns on His head. I caused the blood to be shed. I caused His side to be pierced. I put the sour wine in His mouth.
But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed. Isaiah 53:5 ESV
IT WAS ME.
I was having the best day ever. Because of HIM. I was receiving blessing after blessing and basking in His glory even though I was the one that brought on His suffering. I didn’t deserve any of what was coming my way that day. I deserved what He Got. But He took it so I could get what He deserved.
This is the mystery of the Gospel. It just doesn’t make sense that I could be blessed beyond belief by the very same God I put on the cross. That in all of my unworthiness, He still calls me worthy.
It doesn’t make sense. But oh, am I grateful.
Grateful for a perfect Messiah who would suffer immeasurably so I could live abundantly.
This is the God we serve. THIS God that took on everything so that we could have EVERYTHING in Him. May we never forget the reality of who He is to us and how so undeserving we are. May we not take for granted His word, His whispers, His presence and His GOODNESS. May we remember the depth of HIs love for us in our own time of suffering. May we always keep the cross at the center of our perspectives.
“We did this to Him. But look at what He did for us.”
We are loved more than we could ever imagine. May we never forget this.
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.- John 3:16
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. -John 10:10b